Posted on: 6 June 2022
Karen's son was diagnosed with a rare chromosome disorder when he was eight months old. As he grew up, he began to develop learning disabilities as well as various medical conditions, which required stays in hospital and outpatient appointments throughout his young life.
“When my son was born he came out the most perfect baby, and at the time no one knew what type of future he and myself would have, along with the caring responsibilities and the challenges of being a single mother,” she says.
Karen’s son attended a school for children with autism and began to thrive, but over time he developed challenging behaviour, severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and mental health issues. Karen joined CNWL in 2011, working part-time to fit around her son's appointments and medical issues as well as caring for her elderly Grandmother.
“He had very challenging behaviour due to his autism, and I did need to take time off for his medical issues. I was also the sole carer for my grandmother and she relied heavily on me. Because my Grandmother was bed bound, I was helping with everything from shopping to paying bills. I was supporting her until she sadly passed away in 2018."
This became a time where I tried to focus on work and put what was going on at the back of my head. I was in a self-denial stage where I thought I could handle this on my own, with no support from anyone.”
After a serious incident at home, social services stepped in to help Karen develop a care plan for her son.
“He was offered supported housing where he could learn independence and be around other peers that have similar disabilities. This was very helpful as it felt like a huge weight off my shoulders as he was able to have other carers that could also support him.”
Over time Karen’s son struggled to adjust to supported housing, and it became difficult for him to manage, increasing his mental health issues where he began to self-harm. Eventually he returned home to live with Karen.
“Sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to manage and it does tire me out. It’s tough - I won’t deny it - and identifying as a working carer is hard. I don’t always see myself as his carer. I am his mother and I feel that this is what I’m meant to do as a parent. But I do enjoy having him at home, despite his little quirks and I would not change it for the world. I am incredibly proud to be his Mum and see that he has grown into such a lovely young man.”
Thankfully, Karen’s managers and colleagues have been very supportive throughout her caring journey.
“I can honestly say that I’ve had amazingly supportive managers, and I would like to say thank you to them and my colleagues at CNWL. They’ve been such good listener’s and have such an understanding around my needs and my son’s behaviour, especially when it became difficult to manage. My managers allowed me to have carers leave so I was able to look after him.”
I would recommend getting in touch with the Carers at Work (CAW) Network, having that support and being able to talk to such understanding people, some of whom have become lifelong friends. Knowing I’m not alone and realising there are many others that are in a similar situation."
Karen currently works within CNWL's Health and Justice services.
If you identify with any of the themes raised in this story, staff members can contact our Carers at Work Staff Network, who can offer you support and advice. Contact: cnw-tr.carers.cnwl@nhs.net or search 'Carers at Work' on Trustnet.
More information about Carers Week can be found on this webpage.